Saturday
=bye Mr Beasley=
as per normal, corrinemay accompanies my aching heart. 'if you didn't love me' plays on my songlist. one day, someone asked me why i sang 'mr beasley'? who is mr beasley? ha ha i was singing for the same person that asked me the question. but that person didn't go for the wedding but i sang with him in my mind. he never got to heard the song tt i sang for him. maybe sometimes, he still wonders why i like that song so much.
i have a strange habit of listening to new songs / buy new albums when i am sad. discovering new songs always makes my day. opened the last new cd tt i have. stone. the cd tt i both last yr on my birthday. cd from the play, i bot tix for, to cheer myself up from the previous heartache.
last week is filled with lots of regrets. hope to turn back the hands of time, but i know that in this life, there is only one way,
looking forward. lots of things to say to him but pointless. it would only add on the pain. the best things in life is left unsaid.
tt's so madeleine. thinking of another person first. i am very sure that he knows what i want to say. just put everything away. pictures. feelings.
today is the last day to cry.
i don't want to see myself cry anymore.
waste water right!
sometimes in life, i just want to inconsiderate. be wilful. be unhappy. be selfish and not think of another person. can i just be evil for one day? can i just be childish for a moment? what can i give to do that? why does every heartache just hurt so so much? why is it i don't get a choice?
really.
i am just a silly girl that loves a silly boy.
silly boy: i hope you will always remember your commitments and promises.
i realised just how choiceless i am. not way out only to move on. i can't give up on love. cuz god is love and i can't give up on god - love never fails. 1john. kind of cornered by everything. oh gosh. just have to move on.
why do i always feel that xing fu is always far from me?
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true
from tomorrow on, i will be happy that's what i promised. i will smile. maybe i will find happiness somewhere over the rainbow. rainbow after the rain.
princess maddie.
